Throwing Poo

My wife was kind enough to point out to me yesterday that the first three entries in this blog are 1) an obtuse, self-indulgent introduction, 2) porno jokes, and 3) an unqualified movie review based on the “f” word.   Taken together with the scatological name, this, she gently queried, might not be the first impression I want to make.

“Hell, honey, it’s not like anyone’s going to read it.  I only know a few people and most of them don’t listen to me when I’m speaking to them in person.”

“Still,” she reminded me, “this is a public expression of your private self.  Plus, you’re not able to gauge reactions like you would in a personal conversation."

If a tree falls in the woods and makes a fart joke on the way down, but no one is there to hear it, well…

But OK.  She is my only reader and the customer is always right.  I will now take a moment to properly introduce the intent of this blog, even though it would be a hell of a lot easier for me to walk across the hall and just explain it to her.  I could just yell it or tie a note to the cat, but I suppose this type of thinking is getting me nowhere.

What I hope to accomplish with this blog is to 1) create a vehicle for daily, uncensored catharsis (I had to yell over to her just now to get a correct spelling for “catharsis”), 2) amuse myself and, if I’m lucky, one or two other people, 3) stop (uh-oh, I hear footsteps) watching so much crappy television, and 4) hopefully become a little less of an asshole through the process (guess who’s helping now). 

It’s not really important to me whether or not anyone reads this.  Given the bizarre yet intuitive URL, I suppose it’s possible that someone might happen across the site. 

Holy shit!   It has only just occurred to me at this late hour what type of non-monkey-liking person might purposely check this web address and what might be on their mind.  Ugh.  Well, I suppose at least the comments section could get interesting.

Anyway, I guess the point is that, fart jokes and “f” words aside, I’m a relatively decent person who wants to wage a little internal war with himself and allow anyone who wishes to be a judge.  Kind of like the Ultimate Fighting Championship without all the external bleeding and latent homosexuality (I hope).