News To Me: Money Shot
Scientists announced today that they are one step closer to developing a male contraceptive. The method comes (leave it) in the form of a reversible, immunocontraceptive injection of a protein that coats the sperm rendering it incapable of fertilizing an egg. The injection does not, however, render the sperm incapable of staining your mother’s nice guest towels.
In a study at the University of North Carolina, professor M.G. O’Rand tested the injection with nine monkeys. Seven of nine animals developed an immune response, indicating the vaccine was working. According to O’Rand, none of the monkeys fathered babies. Asked how often the monkeys copulated with female monkeys, O’Rand replied, “What? We don’t have fe…fe…female monkeys? Wo…wo…wo…women make me ne..ne..nervous.”While it is yet to be proven effective with human males, the injection has been successful 78% of the time in trials with primates. However, two of the seven monkeys remained infertile after the shots stopped and expressed their frustration by throwing poo at everyone who walked by their cages. On the other hand, the successful monkeys actively celebrated the return of their fertility by throwing poo at everyone who walked by their cages.
Susan Benoff, former president of the Society for Male Reproduction and Urology - and somewhat surprising, not a boy named Sue – suggested that the greater challenge to male contraception could be psychological. While men might take a pill, most of her male patients are not fond of injections. Asked if she liked getting injected, Benoff glared. “I get quite enough of that kind of shit at the S.M.R.U., I don’t need to hear it from you, too.”
“Obviously this is not a method for a gentleman who’s interested in a one night stand,” Benoff said. Pausing for a moment, she looked around, “Not for the man interested in the one night stand? What man isn’t interested…exactly who the hell is this for?!”
The other psychological aspect is whether or not women will be willing to trust men to take responsibility for preventing pregnancy. “If you are the woman,” Benoff says, “you are the one who’s going to be pushing out the 8-pound bowling ball, so you have to trust him.” Asked if that was a similar trick to the ping-pong ball one I saw in Tijuana last year, Benoff abruptly ended the interview.
Comments
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