Daily Splatter: Instant Feedback
Dear Heidi,
Just wanted to send you a quick note to say thanks for calling and telling me that my posts weren't very funny this week. You are a true friend and I appreciate the fact that you were able to be brutally honest in order that I might try to better myself. I also appreciate your restraint in not mentioning my flaming halitosis, piss-poor judgment or small penis. I can only hope that I have made some improvement in these areas since the very public "intervention" you performed on me last fall with all your girlfriends (it seemed a bit strange to plan such a serious event around a cocktail party with a bunch of people I've never met, but I'm sure my best interest was at heart).
Anyway, let me try to make up for a week of crappy posts with what is by many accounts the best blonde joke ever:
Just wanted to send you a quick note to say thanks for calling and telling me that my posts weren't very funny this week. You are a true friend and I appreciate the fact that you were able to be brutally honest in order that I might try to better myself. I also appreciate your restraint in not mentioning my flaming halitosis, piss-poor judgment or small penis. I can only hope that I have made some improvement in these areas since the very public "intervention" you performed on me last fall with all your girlfriends (it seemed a bit strange to plan such a serious event around a cocktail party with a bunch of people I've never met, but I'm sure my best interest was at heart).
Anyway, let me try to make up for a week of crappy posts with what is by many accounts the best blonde joke ever:
There. I hope that helps. Moving forward, let's make a deal. I promise to be a better monkey if you promise to never stop paying attention to me.
Desperately Seeking Substantiation,
Crunchy
P.S. I peed in your swimming pool last summer. Twice. Once when I was swimming in it and once when I wasn't.