Daily Splatter: Superpowers My Family Would Develop If Exposed To A Radioactive Cloud
Mother
Superhero Name: Samurai Seamstress
Superpower: Wields a wooden yardstick with deadly accuracy
Weakness: Must make her enemies go and get the yardstick before she can use it on them
Archenemy: Billy's Mom. She bought Billy an Atari for HIS birthday
Nephew #1
Superhero Name: Hammer Head
Superpower: A massive stone cranium used to pummel bad guys or anyone who has a toy he wants
Weakness: Exposure to vegetables causes him to slump in his chair and pout
Archenemy: Suzie From Daycare
Brother-in-Law
Superhero Name: The Fox
Superpower: Ability to regurgitate random headlines from the 24-hour television news network. Additional power: A force field that is impenetrable to facts.
Weakness: Corndogs. Will chase one off a cliff if you throw it over
Archenemy: Al Frankenstein
Wife
Superhero Name: Catlady
Superpower: Has the ability to communicate with cats, but they pretty much just ignore her
Weakness: Easily startled and can be distracted for hours with a feather on a piece of string.
Archenemy: Crazy Catlady. The evil twin of Catlady who has the same useless powers, but lives alone in a big house. When you stop to think, it's really a very fine line.
Superhero Name: The Siren
Superpower: An indiscriminate, ear-piercing scream that debilitates anyone in the vicinity
Weakness: Very wobbly walk. Serves at the mercy of Hammer Head
Archenemy: Sharp Corner Man
Brother
Superhero Name: Agent Zero
Superpower: Uses the Jedi mind-trick to convince people to buy insurance they don't need
Weakness: Proximity to golf courses renders him useless. We're pretty sure there is an issue with Internet porn, too.
Archenemy: The Security Exchange Commission
Mother-In-Law
Superhero Name: Polly Pureheart
Superpower: Overpowers her enemies with goodness
Weakness: Never shuts up about the whole goodness thing
Archenemy: Negativity, Man!
Grandfather
Superhero Name: The Zombie
Superpower: (I think this one is self-explanatory)
Weakness: Painfully slow and always groaning
Archenemy: The Worm
Comments
I know you didn't marry me but can there POSSIBLE be TWO catladies???
Posted by: nicole | May 23, 2006 09:20 PM
I think every woman is a catlady deep down inside.
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