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FrivoList: Year 2020 - Ex-President George W. Bush's Excuses For Not Getting Off The Couch

It's 300 degrees outside today and he doesn't know where his ozone protection suit is
 
Still recovering from recent choking episode involving a Soylent Green pretzel
 
Doesn't need another mother.  He has a cryogenically frozen one already, thank you very much
 
Was going to work on the yard, but the lawnmower ran out of switch grass
 
Doesn't want to get caught in another inane conversation with the damn, dirty apes that just moved in next door
 
Intergalactic bill collectors are still hounding him about national debt payments for Jabba the Hut
 
Watching the Jessica Simpson murder trial on Court TV
 
Doesn't want to run into any of those genetically engineered platypus people that he knew would be a problem some day but no one listened to him and just made fun instead
 
9/11 changed everything


 

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Comments

Guh, he's still gonna be AROUND in 14 years????

What about the rapture? Isn't he the first horseman of the apocalypse?

NIC: I'm afraid the real question is - Are any of us going to be around in 14 years?

ACW: I think the apocalypse would be a hole lot less frightening if he was. I imagine him with a tiny cowboy hat and toy six-shooters riding a zebra, misquoting scripture and generally embarrassing the shit our of the other three riders.

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