Throwing Poo

GOOD 

Traffic Laws
One good reason why we have traffic laws is so that you and I do not need to negotiate the right of way through a series of hand gestures and head nods.  If you want to be a traffic cop, then take the goddamn civil service test.  Once you have a badge and a whistle, then I'll be more inclined to interpret your flailing sign language and follow your directions.  Until then, just obey the fucking law.   

BAD

Hospital Waivers
In order to get care, my hospital requires that I sign a form that basically says the following:
"First, in case we are incompetent and do not properly bill your insurance company for the services we provide, you will pay us out of your pocket.  Second, you will also pay us for any services we decide to provide to you (or say we provided to you) whether or not you or your insurance company agrees.  Third, you will pay us whatever price we decide to charge you.  We will not tell you what these services cost, so don't even try to find out.  Just shut up, do what you're told and pay your bill.  Finally, we will be selling your personal information to the highest bidder unless you send a signed letter and a DNA sample to a P.O. Box address which no one actually knows and wouldn't tell you if they did."
 
At least have the decency to hand me a sample tube of lubrication along with the clipboard.

UGLY

Does anything come with a higher cringe factor than a man or woman over the age of 50 who tries to sound hip?  As an aging fart with Peter Pan Syndrome, I fully understand the need to cling to youth (or youthful appearances).  But I'd rather stuff my exposed head inside a beehive than hear my father say something like "You Go, Girl!"  It is not funny or cute.  It is the exact opposite.  
 
In a surgically enhanced, gadget-infested, celebrity-worshiping world, a little grace is a rare and beautiful thing.