GBU: Week of 5-5-06
GOOD
How about we all get off our culturally oversensitive high horses and agree that hygiene is a good idea, be it a western one or otherwise. I'm talking to you, Mr. Cab Driver, and you, Mr. Ethnic Restaurant Owner. Can't we all just get a long, hot shower?
BAD
It's been nearly 15 years since my last exam in graduate school. So why am I still having the same hack anxiety dream about showing up for a final exam after missing class all semester? All neuroses aside, I'm mostly disappointed by my sheer lack of subconscious creativity. What's next, erotic dreams about trains and tunnels?
UGLY
This week a Vice President (let's call him Sphincter Boy) of the national non-profit organization I work for tried to burn me down for not supporting his self-serving and totally fucked solution to a problem with one of our local chapters. Aping the ever-popular scorched-earth political tactic, this piece of shit publicly attacked my intention, credibility and competence in an executive staff meeting. Having had run-ins with Sphincter Boy before, I had armed myself with all the necessary facts and documents to justify my position. Fortunately, in this case, intelligent problem-solving (me) won out over disjointed hearsay (Sphincter Boy) and I was vindicated and given the full support of the execs. But still...
I am consumed with rage and want to lay waste to this motherfucker. I want to see his crimson, liquefied body sprayed onto the fresh driven snow as I stuff his flailing limbs into a wood chipper. I want to bury him up to his head, cover his face with honey and kick the shit out of a nearby fire ant hill. I want to tie him to a chair a go "Reservoir Dogs" on his ass. I want to cover him with whipped cream and...wait...no, that's someone else.
The bad part off all this is that I'm not sure what is uglier - Sphincter Boy's greed-driven deceit or my subsequent reaction. Even worse is losing the illusion that I was a better man than this.
How about we all get off our culturally oversensitive high horses and agree that hygiene is a good idea, be it a western one or otherwise. I'm talking to you, Mr. Cab Driver, and you, Mr. Ethnic Restaurant Owner. Can't we all just get a long, hot shower?
BAD
It's been nearly 15 years since my last exam in graduate school. So why am I still having the same hack anxiety dream about showing up for a final exam after missing class all semester? All neuroses aside, I'm mostly disappointed by my sheer lack of subconscious creativity. What's next, erotic dreams about trains and tunnels?
UGLY
This week a Vice President (let's call him Sphincter Boy) of the national non-profit organization I work for tried to burn me down for not supporting his self-serving and totally fucked solution to a problem with one of our local chapters. Aping the ever-popular scorched-earth political tactic, this piece of shit publicly attacked my intention, credibility and competence in an executive staff meeting. Having had run-ins with Sphincter Boy before, I had armed myself with all the necessary facts and documents to justify my position. Fortunately, in this case, intelligent problem-solving (me) won out over disjointed hearsay (Sphincter Boy) and I was vindicated and given the full support of the execs. But still...
I am consumed with rage and want to lay waste to this motherfucker. I want to see his crimson, liquefied body sprayed onto the fresh driven snow as I stuff his flailing limbs into a wood chipper. I want to bury him up to his head, cover his face with honey and kick the shit out of a nearby fire ant hill. I want to tie him to a chair a go "Reservoir Dogs" on his ass. I want to cover him with whipped cream and...wait...no, that's someone else.
The bad part off all this is that I'm not sure what is uglier - Sphincter Boy's greed-driven deceit or my subsequent reaction. Even worse is losing the illusion that I was a better man than this.
Comments
I have the same dream about final exams when I am really stressed. It's usually some sort of Calculus class - the only kind of exam I couldn't fake my way through.
Posted by: Peeved Michelle | May 8, 2006 04:09 PM
PM: I think what makes it worse for me is that I actually did skip a class for most of my sophmore year (Intro to Sociology) and then tried to fake the final. You can guess the outcome.
Posted by: Crunchy BC | May 8, 2006 09:55 PM
It is especially anxiety-inducing for me because I was such a spaz about my GPA.
Posted by: Peeved Michelle | May 8, 2006 11:20 PM
What the Hell??? I have to keep Refreshing the page to even be able to view the post can someone fix this issue please?
Posted by: Arron A. Feller | December 28, 2009 11:21 AM
Thanks for posting this. Would be intrested to read more or possibly please contact me by email thank you!
Posted by: Oil Change | January 26, 2010 09:23 PM
geiler analfick
Posted by: Miss-Doertie | March 12, 2010 12:19 PM
Now THAT'S what I'd call an insightful position on this subject. What I would suggest though is speaking to other people involved in the scene and bring to day any other points of view and then update or create a new post for us to read. I hope you'll take my advice, I'm looking forward to it! Try to cover off on some graffiti characters as well if possible, they're very popular at the moment.
Posted by: Noble Gollob | May 1, 2010 06:13 PM