Throwing Poo

Last week I was officially baptized into the Church of Incessant Whining.  The Peevery (Suck It), a website where I have been auditioning for the past month, has decided to make me a regular contributor.  Before you begin bashing the folks at The Peevery on the wrong-headedness of their decision, you should know that no drug test or background check was required.  As such, I was able to keep my dealings with the Enron, the Association of Asbestos Manufacturers and Union Carbide to myself (fuck India). 

Dr. Phil was right.  If you stay positive and just believe in yourself, good things will happen.  You might first have to weather twenty or thirty years of failure, a life-threatening battle with crabs, a chronic addiction to Olestro (and, subsequently, Depends Undergarments), and finding out that, through a bizarre turn of events, you were given up for adoption by your biological parents and six months later unintentionally adopted by them.  Still, it does happen. I'm living proof!!!  (By the way, if anyone from the Dr. Phil show is reading this, I'm available for a taping).

This is just the beginning for me.  Now that I have sampled the perky nipple of success, I have set my sights even higher.  I do not want to spoil the fun for you of watching "the new me" soar, so let's just say,  "Look out, NAMBLA Man-of the-Year Award.  Here I come!"