Classic Jokes Revisited: Part 1
A man walks into a bar with Emeril Lagasse on a leash and announces that Emeril can actually talk. The surly bartender laughs and the scattered patrons snicker and mumble before going back to their drinks.
"I'll bet anyone a hundred dollars that Emeril can talk," the man insisted.
The bartender sets down the glass he was wiping and walks over.
"I'll take that bet. Let's see the money."
The man slaps a $100 dollar bill on the bar.
"OK, asshole," said the bartender, "Let's hear him talk,"
The man turns to Emeril and tugs on his leash to get his full attention.
"Who was Barney and Betty Rubble's son?" the man asked Emeril.
"BAM!" Emeril barked.
"Right," the man said, "their son was Bam Bam. Next question: Who did Tommy Lee marry?"
"BAM!"
"Good!" the man said excitedly. "Pam Anderson, that's right. OK, last question: Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?"
"BAM!" Emeril barked for a third time.
"Yes!" the man yelled. "Bam. The Bambino. Babe Ruth. I win!"
As the man reaches for the money, the bartender slams his hand down on it.
"No way, asshole," the bartender growled, "You're not gonna come in here and con me. Joey, show this guy the door."
A large man slides up, grabs the man and Emeril and throws them out the front door onto the sidewalk. As they pick themselves up off the ground and brush off, Emeril looks at the man and shrugs.
"Maybe I should have said DiMaggio?" and throws hot pepper in his face.