Throwing Poo

For most of my adult life (it is just me, or has it gotten to the point where the mere word "adult" seems to evoke something seedy?), I have been agonizing over what I should do with my career.  Over the years I have read countless books, taken tests and written hundreds of journal pages on the subject.  Yet here I sit in an unfulfilling job that is slowly draining me of my will to life. 

I feel like a maple tree in that keeps getting tapped of all its syrup (metaphor hint: syrup = my will to live), leaving none of the good stuff for me to pour on my pancakes.  OK, maybe trees don't actually eat pancakes, but I think we can all agree that they would if they could.  Everyone likes pancakes.

Anyway, I've decided to take a new approach to figuring out my life.  I'm going to write about it on this blog.  Starting tomorrow, every Monday I'm going to peel back a layer and honestly try to get to the core of who I am and what I want to do with my life.  Kind of like my own personal "Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance," except I'll be replacing all that cumbersome analysis, philosophy and critical thinking with scatological jokes and filthy language. 

Now, I'm not really sure what this is going to read like.  Hopefully there will be some humor, even if it is of the unintentional, laughing-at-me-and-not-with-me sort.  However, if there is no entertainment value to these posts, at least you can take some satisfaction in knowing that I'm honestly attempting to sort out my life. If not, well, fuck you then.  

When discussing this idea with Nerdy Squirrel, Esq. at breakfast the other day, she replied that, if anything, I was certainly efficient - referring to combining my life-sorting-out process and blogging together.  There was a time when this would have been a source of pride for me.  Not any more.  If nothing else, I hope this process will produce a result that, when I'm finally dead and being eulogized, people don't think to sum the whole of my life as being "efficient."