Alive and, well...
The past week is a fog. After coming down with flu at a work conference in Tampa last Thursday, I spent the weekend in bed (not in a fun, John & Yoko kind of way, either). I was definitely on the road to recovery. Unfortunately I had to make an urgent business trip on Monday and Tuesday that I could not cancel (I'm very important, you know). Let it be known that, despite my incessant job-related whining, I'm a good goddamn soldier.
Upon boarding the tubular petri dish we call an airplane, my already compromised immune system (ACIS) had this to say to me:
ACIS: You're a retard. You know that, right? A total fucking retard.
ME: It's my job.
ACIS: You're sick. You even got your wife sick. Stay home.
ME: I've got to go. It's important work.
ACIS: We all know you don't believe that. Christ, don't you read your own piece of shit blog?
ME: People are counting on me.
ACIS: Bullshit. This is all about you martyring yourself. You make an unpleasant choice, back it up with pre-fabricated rationalizations about personal responsibility, then look for someone to blame for your misery.
ME: Shouldn't you be busy working on those lingering anal warts?
ACIS: Shut up, asshole. You know you couldn't wait to write this shit. Tell everyone what a good person you are; how you took one for the team when you were sick.
ME: Not true.
ACIS: You know, denial without details is no defense.
ME: Nuh uh.
ACIS: Jesus, why am I wasting my time talking to you?
ME: 'Cause you're stupid.
ACIS: (pointing) Look! (bends over and punches me squarely in the nuts).
Anyway, I arrived home on Tuesday night and have been feeling pretty crappy ever since. Fortunately, I had requested today and tomorrow off as vacation days, so I can finally get some rest and fully recover. Hopefully nothing urgent will come up at work. Those worthless idiots can't get anything done without me.
***A sudden, sharp pain in the groin sends me crumbling to the floor***
Comments
This post is especially surprising given how much you've been posting about wanting to find something more meaningful as an occupation/vocation.
Get well soon! Obviously dementia & karma is kicking you in the jewels... ipso facto the groin pain!
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