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FrivoList: After a Thorough Inspection, My Response To Capital One's Question: "What's In Your Wallet?"

An official Inspector Gadget Junior badge that I use to steal drugs from suburban teenagers

The business card of a douchebag realtor that he forced upon me during a flight last month

Pubes of unknown origin

An old Home Depot gift card with a remaining balance of $1.26

The only remaining photo from my ill-conceived Glamour Shots "Boudoir" session

One Trojan "Ribbed For Her Pleasure" condom from 1986  ('cause that's how I roll)

Superfriends "League of Justice" membership card - Member since 1979

Ten years worth of ass sweat

Comments

"Well, I don't know where these pubes came from, but I should keep them handy for when I have a chance to match them up later."

Let me exlain, when visiting the Lido Lounge the dollars in their panties are tips for the dancers, not compensation for you enduring it. That should cut down on the pube buildup.

What, no Victoria's secret frequent buyer's card?

ACW: Sure, make fun. But when I get stuck on a tropical island and need to build a raft to escape with my friend Spaulding, my woven pube rope will come in handy.

DMC: The dancers at the Lido should be tipped with heavy coins traveling at high velocity.

ROBIN: I don't need a card. They know me.