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Despite The Catchy Television Ads, Things That Don't Actually "Stay In Vegas"

The $200 black satin "Caesar's Palace" jacket that, somehow, seemed like a good idea at the time.

A lingering case of salmonella from the $4.99 All-You-Can-Eat Seafood Buffet at Circus Circus.

The tattoo on your ass of  "Candy," the stripper you hooked up with one very drunken evening.

Towels, a hairdryer, the shower curtain, and anything else you can steal from the hotel room in order to try to offset your crushing financial losses.

The anxiety that suddenly overcomes you every time you're at home with your wife now and the phone rings (see "Candy")

Imminent bankruptcy

Herpes

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Comments

So you had a good time! MAybe you could pass me along Candy's phone number for when I make my next trip.

Like the kid who finds out that Santa isn't real, Probability 101 spoiled Vegas for me.

Ahh, herpes. The gift that keeps on giving. You must've shared a toilet seat with Wayne Newton.

Was Candy worth it?

DMC: I don't share my Candy with anyone.

TFG: What about poker?

MD: As I understand it, Wayne has people who shit for him.

MS: My penis doesn't entertain such questions.

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