Throwing Poo

Over the weekend Nerdy Squirrel, Esq. and I went to the movies. 

Nearly thirty minutes in the flick, a feeble old couple meandered into the theater and began talking in full voices as they stumbled into some empty seats.  The episode took nearly five full minutes, a lifetime when you're trying to watch a movie.  Normally, this would drive me insane and I would demand God to prove his existence by killing them dead on the sticky, germ-soaked floor.  If He refused - as He usually does - then I would begin the following escalation of remarks:

"Shush."
"Shhhh!"
"SSSSHHHHHHH!!!"
"Quiet!"
"Stop talking!"
"Shut up!!!"
"SHUT YOUR FUCKING PIE HOLES!!!"
"DIE!!!  DIE, YOU DECREPIT OLD FUCKS!!!"

This time it didn't bother me, though.  Their entrance and chattering was so utterly infirm that it transcended rudeness.  All I could imagine was this old couple shuffling around their musty old home full of lime green appliances and plastic-covered furniture, hours before the movie was scheduled to start, yelling to each other from different rooms as they fumbled to get ready in time.  They'd spend an eternity trying to get out the door; her having to go back inside to turn her dress right side out, him having check three times whether or not he took his medication.  Once in the car, she would stare out the window pointing out things he was too busy driving to notice.  He'd mumble to himself and curse all the maniacs surrounding them on the road.  In the safety of their home and their Buick, they could bicker and argue freely.   But once the car was parked and the doors opened, he'd take her hand and they would huddle together against the winds of change that nowadays always seemed to be gusting so hard against them. 

As these thoughts ran through my head, a kind of joyful sadness crept over me.  I reached over for my wife's hand and gave it a squeeze.  Her head turned towards mine and I nodded to the old couple still chattering and attempting to navigate the aisle behind us.  She squeezed my hand back and, as if she could read my mind, gave a knowing smile.

"Will you please be quiet!" she barked at them.

I love my old lady.