FrivoList: Some of the Shocking CIA Secrets from the 1960’s and 1970’s That Didn’t Make The Headlines
Successfully plotted to have Dick York replaced on Bewitched because, according to J. Edgar Hoover, he “acted kind of queer.”
Infiltrated “comedian” Gallagher’s road crew to steal and exploit his exploding fruit technology for military purposes. The obtained knowledge served as the initial basis for the “Star Wars” missile-defense system. Unfortunately, after spending billions of dollars, it was determined that the enemy could safeguard their missiles by simply covering them with sheets of plastic.
Performed an illegal lobotomy on a young researcher named Brit Hume, unwittingly setting the stage for his future career as a Fox News broadcaster.
Recruited radio personality Rick Dees as a covert agent and used his cover to test mass hypnosis by inserting subliminal messages in his song “Disco Duck.” The experiment ultimately failed when the population began to retch violently and stab sharpened #2 pencils into their ears whenever the song was played.
Turned Jefferson Airplane into Jefferson Starship, and watched idly as the nation mourned.
In the mid 1970’s, used cutting-edge bionic technology to develop an actual Six Million Dollar Man (The television show was CIA propaganda intended to gauge the public’s acceptance of the secret program and to persuade future funding from congress.) Unfortunately, government waste being what it was/is, six million dollars was only enough to pay for a bionic elbow and one testicle. Other than being an exceptional tennis player and gratuitous sport-fucker (even by 1970 standards), the actual “super agent” proved to be of little use.
UPDATE: Added link to the real song "Disco Duck" for young people like ACW who have no idea how truly fucking awful the seventies actually were. Click at your own risk.
Comments
Disco Duck?! How does your brain work?
Posted by: anonymouscoworker | July 3, 2007 09:11 AM
At first I got confused with Howard the Duck and didn't see what got you riled up. Then I remembered that it was a completely different song and had it's own movie. Yeah Disco Duck and the 70's sucked.
Except for Star Wars..
Posted by: DaMonkeyCode | July 3, 2007 03:04 PM
I wasn't calling the suckfest of the 70s into question. I was wondering how it was that your brain managed to pull that exact tidbit from the mire that is surely your memory.
Posted by: anonymouscoworker | July 5, 2007 09:24 AM
Gotcha. If you really want to know how my brain works, this video of me as a child should explain things.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=CMNry4PE93Y
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