Throwing Poo

Forget the economy, al-Qaeda, and if you’re a talk radio fan, the eminent race war (which is ridiculous because the robots will ultimately kill us all anyway). The real question on everyone’s mind these days is: “Where’s Crunchy?  Where is our beloved hero?  Please return from your crystal fortress in Cleveland and save us from our meaningless, squandered lives with your nuggets of wisdom and the occasional undigested corn kernel of humor!”

The simple fact is that I’ve been busy.  Between advising the President-elect of the local Shriners’ Hall, inventing a high-tech defense shield to protect civilian’s against the proliferation of trucker bombs, and genetically-modifying genetic modifiers to enhance their genetic modifying-ness (and tastiness!), I’ve barely had time to watch the most recent seasons of 30 Rock, Pushing Daisies, The Office, Rescue Me, Weeds, and Heroes on DVD and still get my eight hours of sleep at night.  Oh, and I’ve also used my “alone time” in the crapper to knock out my first screenplay, which, after re-reading it, now seems like the most appropriate place to leave it.  So back the fuck off!

Anywho, the fact is that I’m back and better than ever.  And by better than ever, I mean older, fatter, lazier, and just as likely to go mental or disappear without notice or trace as before.  Just like Brittany, only with more “Oopsie!” snatch shots available online.

So be sure to check back for upcoming topics including:
Me
Obama Primer
Me
Thanksgiving Primer
Me
Me
Me
Why You Are Stupid
Christmas Primer
Me.

And, as always, have a Happy Recession!