Thoughtgangsta
The other day I was flipping through the channels and happened upon a stand-up comedian on BET. As is the case with nudity, midgets, or elective surgery (if my wife would just let me subscribe to the Hustler Channel, I could finally enjoy all three together), seeing a comic always relaxes my kung fu grip on the remote.
After a couple of lame jokes, this comedian launched into a “You might be ghetto if…” routine. My initial reaction was outrage; this fucking hack is ripping-off Jeff Foxworthy! Then, after a moment of clarity, I wondered why, when there are so many great comedians out there, this hack would rip-off Jeff Foxworthy (best described by Greg Giraldo as looking like one of the Village People on casual Friday).
To my surprise, however, the mostly black crowd really seemed to love the bit, and I have to admit that the “…you think putting batteries in the icebox recharges them,” and “…you have more than ten uses for Vaseline, one of which is shining your shoes” lines made me chuckle.
Now, my understanding of the recently imposed racial newspeak is that if a minority is making derogatory jokes about his/her race, it is OK to laugh as long as you don’t laugh louder or longer than the person of that minority nearest to you. Still, I began to feel a little self-conscious, which in turn sparked anger and self-loathing (well, fanned the flame of my persistent self-loathing is probably more accurate).
Despite my own strongly held beliefs on the matter, it appears that Big Brutha is starting to get to me.
My case for and against Obama
If I had my choice, Joe Biden would be the Democratic candidate for President in 2008. Regardless of my personal opinions and/or positions on any give issue, Biden is arguably the most qualified person for the job. Unfortunately, my choice is entirely unrealistic because Joe doesn’t have $20 million to spend on sound bites lambasting his opponents for funding public rape rooms, endorsing cannibalism, and putting the drugs back into our classrooms.
Of the viable Democratic candidates, Barack Obama is the most interesting choice. Forgetting the war, social security, global warming and health care – and really, who doesn’t want to at this point – an Obama candidacy interests me because of what it could unintentionally do for race relations in this country.
Polarizing issues are defined by their extremes, and the only effective way to address them is by moderating the extremists, thus creating a climate for civil, pragmatic discussion. The mere existence of President Obama would minimize the argument of race-baiting extremists on the one side who preach to the masses that the man is keeping them down. If a black man can get a job as President, he can also probably get a job doing anything else.
On the other side, within a few months the fear-mongering racists would have to explain why the first black President hasn’t had P. Diddy remake The Star-Spangled Banner or pimped-out Air Force One, let alone enslave the white man, pillage his personal property, and rape his fat wife.
In middle America, I believe racism is mostly a product of fear and ignorance. Of those that are racist, I would bet that they have never really known any black people. If that is the case, then the prolific presence of an intelligent, charismatic black President the likes of John F. Kennedy should slowly begin to chip away at prejudices and misjudgments.
Unfortunately, the problem with this whole scenario is that it only takes one redneck with a Browning BAR rifle kneeling in a Book Depository to destroy it all, bringing racial tensions to explosive levels. For that reason alone, an Obama Presidency just might be too risky.
